the effects of caffine of Raito
by Dark Angel Of Wind
Summary: Matt and mello are bored. and they have a science project due......this will not end well


**The Effects of Caffine on Raito**

**by Dark Angel Of Wind**

**Disclaimers: i do now own Death Note or the Homestarrunner cartoon that this is based off of.**

**#**

"how about the effects of gasoline from your bike...on fire?" Matt asked.

"sure, we might end up BBQing the entire Wammy's house but we might end up getting last place...dumbass" Mello replied.

"well how about I.Q. differences between generations?" Matt said.

"Yea, and we'll accomplish that in less then 3 days HOW?!" Mello snapped back.

"...theres always the stand by paper-mache volcano" Matt said sulkingly.

"you got to be fucking kidding me" Mello bit off the wrapper to another chocolate bar.

they both just sat in silence as Matt snapped his fingers in thought.

"got it."

"and?" Mello looked at him expectantly.

"you know how that new kid Raito doesn't eat anything sugary or drink anything caffinated?"

"..yea he's fucking weird. your point?"

Matt smiled mischievously.

"well why don't we simply put a few spoonful's of coffee powder in his morning tea..."

"and study the effects of caffeine on the average human!...Matt i take back everything i ever said about your being third a mistake."

"Thanks!...i think"

Mello rubbed his hands together with anticipation and glee in his eyes.

"well, lets get started."

#

"So Raito, tell us, how do you feel?" Matt asked that morning with a tape recorder and a notebook with pen in his hands. Mello was video recording it all on a stand because he was laughing to hard to actually hold it.

**_"I feel great! I feel great! I feel great!- I feel bad!- I don't even watch Soccer! I don't even watch soccer! I can't remember my hands!" _**Raito said with his eyes slightly bulging, slightly twitching in record speed.

his hair which was usually perfectly combed was messed up and his shirt was slightly un-tucked and his tie was loose around his neck as his right leg wouldn't stop moving very fast against the floor.

Just then L past by the kitchen to get some cake.

**"HEY L!!" **Raito shouted and ran in circles around L as he walked, with L holding his cake slice over his head staring at the boy. **"LISTEN LISTEN HEY!! JUCYJUCYSHADAKA!! What did i just say!? Did it mean anything? did i even speak!? What about this: WKAWKAWAKA LOOKI LOOKI! Did that mean anything?!"**

L merely pushed him out of his way with his foot and walked over him as he just mumbled something about 'this is why I'm not a morning person'

Just then Lindawalked in to get soem coffee and looked at Raito who was still on the floor talking gibberish.

"Raito? are you alright?"

Raito shot up to his feet in less then a second and bombarded the poor girl with questions.

_**" Linda, Linda, what do you wanna make?! Do you wanna make some wood damage with me?! I got pine cones, I got peanut butter, I got everything we need!- I said pine cones, pine cones!- Gonna be successful! Gonna be phenomenally successful! I went to the corner store and Linda you- wood damage, wood damage like a choo choo train! And taken off like a new century of the amazinnest!"**_

Lindagot the hint as he looked at Matt jotting things down and mello griping the sides of a chair to keep himself steady as he beat his fist against the table shaking in silent laughter.

"alright then, you have fun with that Raito" And he walked out of the Kitchen with Coffee in hand.

**_"I WANNA CLIMB THE FRIDGERATOR!!" _**Raito shouted as he ran around in circles before climbing clumsily up on top of the fridge in the kitchen and gripped the edge as he peered over the edge giggling crazily.

"Raito? are you in here? you promised me that you would do your share of the project today...Raito...what are you doing up there?" Near asked while staring at the boy on top of the fridge.

**_"You're stupid! You're stupid! You're stupidbecause everything's made of matter! Your parakeet flew away because you're stupid!" _**Raito shrieked.

"...Raito...you realize that i never owned a parakeet?" Near asked.

**_"One time you went to Arby's to get some Curly fries and some Barbecue packets and you sat down to eat them but you couldn't get them open so you went to the store to buy some scissors but you didn't have any money so you started running to your friends house to borrow some money so you could buy some scissors to open your Barbecue packets and enjoy your Curly fries more fully but when you got to his front door and an avalanche fell on your head... Because you're stupid and that's why your all white all the time!"_** Raito said **_very_** quickly.

Near took a quick glance around the room and sighed.

"Raito, i believe you have been drugged. now please come down so i may properly diagnose you"

**_"No!"_ **Raito said very impishly.

"come down this instant Raito, you are behaving like a complete..."

**_"NO no no! Your're a snowman!" _**Raito said.

"...did you just call me a snowman?"

Then Raito lost his balance, but still managed to land on his feet when he fell from the fridge.

**_"Hey Near! Hey Near! Hey Near!" _**Raito started yelling, slapping Near across the face with the crazed look in his eyes increasing rapidly. _**"Hey hey hey, do you wanna play some soccer?! You wanna make a salad?! I got whatever we need!" **_

"Raito, you will stop this behavior at once! you are beginning to anger me"

**_"So you wanna make a salad?! Pasta salad?! Potato salad?! Fruit salad?! Fruit salad?! Fruit salad?! Fruit salad?! Fruit salad?!"_**

Just then Raito's eyes began to dull down slowly and he stopped slapping poor Near and was now placing his tie back in its place and tucked his shirt in.

_"Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Fruit salad... Salad... Salad... Salad as a rock..." _Raito shook his head, and his eyes were normal again. "Near, what are we doing here?"

"I believe you said i was a snowman..." Near responded his eyes still glaring at the brunette.

"_feeling dizzy" _Raito said as he swung around then falling onto his back unconscious, sleeping.

#

"after confronting L, subject began acting more insane then usual...even for Raito" Matt said using a pointer at the picture of Raito circling L with cake.

"note the messiness of hair, the "i rolled out of bed" clothing, and the craziness of the eyes" Mello said with a smirk.

"Subject's condition continued to deteriorate, and as Linda approached, he began making up arts and crafts activities, like wood davers, as if taking an artistic attempt at impressing a female, although it's clear he's as straight as the number 4." matt said.

"And in the final stages, subject became erratic, violent, and also fuckin' hilarious to watch." Mello snickered as Matt pointed to pictures of Raito running around, him climbing the fridge, him peering from the fridge, him falling from the fridge, and him slapping Near on the face.

"Within half of a minute, subject was brought to this state." Matt said, pointing to the picture of Raito unconscious, snoring like no tomorrow.

"At this point, the test subject's caffeine wore off, and he was brought into an unconscious state- thus concluding, that caffeine's effect on humans lasts only a bit, and then makes you worse than before you drank it."

"And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion..." Mello began. "Raito's an uptight kid with a bug stuck up his ass and that's why he was effected this way."

_**"I AM NOT A KID!!" **_

#

**DA- well i thought it was funny anyway..hehehhe**


End file.
